Grand Canyon Life Lessons

“You have to sweat to achieve a peak experience.” Abraham Maslow

Several weeks ago, I completed a 7-day solo trek in the Grand Canyon (I hiked down South Bass Trail, then east along the West Tonto Trail, if you’re familiar with The Canyon). As I mentioned in a recent Monday Spark, this was something I’ve been gearing toward for about ten years.

When I hike in The Canyon, it always makes me think about my goals and priorities – about what really matters in my life. Thanks to the modern technology of digital photography and the ancient technology of pen and paper (transcribed into a laptop), in this issue of Values Coach Strategy Letter I’ll encourage you to think about how some of the observations I made while in The Canyon can help you with your own goals and priorities – and with what really matters in your life.

Life is like a watermelon

Experiencing the Grand Canyon is like eating watermelon, and in this regard is a great metaphor for life overall. To stand at the top and look down is like nibbling away on the rind. To get at the good stuff, you have to go down into it, and the deeper you go, the sweeter it is. The greater your commitment, the deeper your involvement, the more rewarding will be your life experience.

It’s sad, but I think that many of us actually engage in activities that are not particularly rewarding in themselves as a way of avoiding or even running away from more rewarding experiences (watching television comes to mind – no one on their deathbed will ever say, “I wish I’d watched more TV”). For every one person who spends a hike hiking in the Grand Canyon, many thousands will spend that same week hiking from the slot machines to the bar and back in the casinos of Las Vegas, or eating their way across the ocean on a cruise ship.

Try this: Being absolutely honestly with yourself, think of one or two things that are really important to you – such as perhaps hiking the Appalachian Trail, earning a masters degree, or being debt-free. Then, make a list of the behaviors that you must change in order for those dreams to become your reality (these are your avoidance patterns).

Now, make the commitment to yourself that you will eliminate at least one of these avoidance patterns to free up time and money to pursue your more authentic dreams and goals. For example, for the average person, terminating cable or satellite TV could free up 500+ dollars and 500+ hours every year. This time and money could instead be invested in financial planning, taking evening classes, or having a stair-stepper to get your hiking legs in shape.

Having fun versus being happy

Lots of people go to Las Vegas to have fun, but very few go there to find happiness (and I would guess even fewer actually do). Carrying a 60+ pound pack ten or twenty miles along a rocky trail on a blistering-hot day is not what most people would consider to be fun, but paradoxically it’s much more likely to make someone happy than would sitting at the slot machines or the gambling tables with a drink at your elbow.

This is a lesson that comes hard to most of us, especially young people. The story of the high school football star and the homecoming queen for whom life’s highlights came during their teens, when life was fun, is a cliché – but a tragically apt cliché in all too many instances.

Try this: Think of a “sacrifice” that you could make today that would bring you greater happiness in the future – for example, denying yourself television so that you can take night classes, or denying yourself shopping therapy to counter a bad mood so that you can invest in retirement savings you’ll need to travel during your golden years. Now, how can you reframe that apparent sacrifice so that it becomes something that not only lays the foundation for future happiness, but is actually fun right here, right now?

No bail-outs

The National Park Service’s official description of the trail I hiked states that it’s one of the more difficult routes in The Canyon because of the paucity of water, and because of the absence of “bail-outs” between South Bass and Boucher Trails. Once you’ve started eastward, you are committed because there is no way to the rim, no way down to the river. That’s a pretty good motivator to keep walking even when your feet are blistered and your knees ache. So is being thirsty and knowing that the next water is ten or so miles away.

If only more people would get married, or start their businesses, with this sort of a “no bail-outs” mindset! There would be a whole lot fewer bankruptcies and a whole lot fewer divorces. It’s the difference between “we’ll give it a try and see what happens” versus “failure is not an option.”

Try this: Think of goals you are currently pursuing, the ones that are most important to you.

How would your attitude change if you eliminated all of the bail-out options that you are consciously or unconsciously harboring?

What sort of short-term trade-offs would you now be willing to accept in order to assure eventual success in securing your “failure is not an option” long-term goals and dreams?

Who could you ask to be part of your accountability support team to hold you to the commitments you make to not bail out on yourself and on your goals and dreams?

You have no doubt heard that eight (or nine) out of every ten new businesses fail. It is perhaps accurate to say that most new businesses shut their doors, but it is not true. Businesses do not fail. Owners quit. Had these business owners started with a “no bail-outs” mindset, they would not have failed.

“There are no right or wrong goals, only ones that excite you because you believe in them. Don’t set humdrum, Milquetoast goals; you’ll be too bored to bother. Don’t set goals within such easy reach that you can knock them off with a fly swatter. Give yourself a sense of adventure, a quest for the mountains of the moon, perhaps, or the silk route to China.”
Mary L. Sprouse: If Time is Money, No Wonder I’m Not Rich

You chose to be here, so deal with it

Whenever I found myself starting to complain about how heavy my pack was, how much my feet hurt, or some other such thing, I reminded myself that I chose to be here. The first promise of The Self-Empowerment Pledge has to do with accepting complete and absolute responsibility for your circumstances and your outcomes. This is, I am increasingly convinced, the non-negotiable first step to changing the direction of your life, and to achieving the goals that really matter.

Try this: Go to the website www.pledgepower.com. Print out a copy of ThePledge and listen to the audio tracks. Then, whenever you find yourself complaining about something, remind yourself that in all likelihood you are where you are as a result of choices that you have made in the past – and you will end up at your future location as a result of the decisions and choices that you make beginning now. Make sure that you are willing to pay whatever price is involved in those decisions and choices – blisters, sore knees, and all.

Keep your eyes open

I almost stepped on this little fellow as he slithered across the trail right in front of me (I’m guessing it was a he – I didn’t try very hard to find out). We stared at each other for a very long moment. Fear and fascination waged a pitched battle in my heart as we stared at each other; caution finally intervened when the snake raised his head and rattled his tail, and I resumed walking down the trail.

Try this: Take a walk somewhere and leave behind your mental briefcase – all of the troubles and worries, the fantasies and daydreams, and just pay attention. Very close and careful attention. Observe the colors of the leaves, the dancing of the bugs in the flowers, the shapes of the clouds in the sky, the soughing of the wind in the branches. And, of course, the crawling of the snakes across the trail should you happen to see one.

“If you pay attention at every moment, you form a new relationship to time. Your own absorption slows you down internally. The slowing down feeds your sense of deep appreciation and at the same time produces more energy. In some magical way, by slowing down you become more efficient, productive, and energetic, focusing without distraction directly on the task in front of you. Not only do you become immersed in that moment; you become that moment.”
Michael Ray: Creativity in Business

Location, location, location

Second home: $395 – no mortgage, no MasterCard.
View: Priceless

“To understand man’s significance, I saw, you must first accept his insignificance. Only then could you focus him into importance against his stupendous, unshruggable background [of the Grand Canyon]. And now, accepting this vision utterly, accepting it without fear and with joy, I had, for the time being at least, found all I needed.”
Collin Fletcher: The Man Who Walked Through Time

Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous

A little over a year ago, I met Kurt and Mari Stocker beside this tree on Boucher Creek in the Grand Canyon. Kurt and Mari own Broken Arrow, a company that makes custom printed t-shirts and embroidered apparel. They also have a great web design team, and have been working with me on creating the website family for Spark-U.com, Graduate School for Life (if you ever need creative designs on high-quality shirts and need them real fast, they are the best, and can be found at www.BrokenArrowWear.com).

Never in a million years would I have looked up t-shirt design companies to find a web design team. In fact, some of the most interesting connections that I’ve made, both personally and professionally, have not come as a result of intentional networking but rather while hiking in canyons and mountains.

Try this: Make a list of the people you would most like to meet (or need to meet) – perhaps a new accountant or a lawyer, a racquetball partner or a dancing partner. Then for the next several months, keep your eyes open – especially when you are in the most unlikely places. See if you aren’t surprised or downright astonished at the connections that are made.

“They say, ‘You can’t give a smile away; it always comes back.’ The same is true of a kind word or a conversation starter. What goes around, comes around. Seize the moment, wherever you are. Smile and say something… anything! Practice striking up conversations. As with everything else you practice, it will get easier and you’ll get better at it. The benefits are the best life has to offer – connections with other people.
Susan RoAne: How to Work a Room

Blessed are the cairn makers

Albert Einstein once commented that he was able to accomplish what he did because he stood on the shoulders of giants. We are all in great, and too-often unacknowledged, debt to those who came before. Hikers in places like the Grand Canyon owe their gratitude (and perhaps their lives) to previous hikers who marked the trails with cairns, and did so with no expectation of thanks (much less reward) from those they aided.

Try this: Think of a strength, talent, or passion that you have. Is there some way (in addition to whatever you might be doing now) that you can share this with others – encourage them to share in your passion? In other words, how can you build cairns for future generations to follow along your path?

“Whatever you most need in life, the best way for you to get it is to help someone else get it who needs it even more than you do.”
Joe Tye: Never Fear, Never Quit

Be alone with God

The comedian Lily Tomlin asked why it is that when we are on our knees with our hands folded talking to God it’s called prayer, but if we’re on our knees with our hands folded listening to God talk back it’s called schizophrenia.

In a recent BookSpark I shared excerpts from three different books on the power of solitude – both for achieving a higher sense of emotional and spiritual equanimity and for giving yourself the time to think about your goals, dreams, and priorities.

Try this: Find a block of time (ideally one full day) where you can go somewhere and be completely alone. Don’t talk all day (not one word). Just listen – listen to what the universe, God, or whoever else might be saying to you. Take a journal to record your notes – notes to yourself.

“Works of art are of an infinite solitude, and no means of approach is so useless as criticism. Only love can touch and hold them and be fair to them. Always trust yourself and your own feelings, as opposed to argumentations, discussions, or introductions of that sort; if it turns out that you are wrong, then the natural growth of your inner life will eventually guide you to other insights. Allow your judgments their own silent, undisturbed development, which like all progress, must come from deep within and cannot be forced or hastened.”
Rainer Maria Rilke: Letters to a Young Poet

Leave your briefcase above the rim

It’s pretty funny that even in the back country of the Grand Canyon, when you meet a total stranger one of the first questions to be asked will often be, “What do you do?” I’m always tempted to say something flippant such as, “I really don’t remember, and I seem to have left my briefcase above the rim.”

Just yesterday, I spoke with someone who told me that she always makes a point of asking about family, hobbies, and other interests before allowing the subject of what they each do for a living come up. That’s because as soon as you know what costume someone wears to work, you have a pretty good idea of their financial and social status, and with that comes all sorts of assumptions about their education, motivation, personality, and other characteristics – assumptions that can be quite off-the-mark.

Try this: When you meet someone new, make sure that you ask at least three other questions of substance before you ask how they make a living, and consciously keep yourself from jumping to conclusions or making judgments based upon superficialities. One side benefit of this technique is that the more carefully you refrain from making assumptions and passing judgment on others, the more effectively you insulate yourself from letting them do it to you.

“It doesn’t matter what other people say about you. What is important is what you say to yourself. Do not be concerned with the judgment of others as long as you know what you are doing is right. You can do whatever you want to do as long as it is correct according to your conscience and your heart. Never be ashamed of doing that which is right; decide on what you think is good and then stick to it. And for God’s sake, never get into the petty habit of measuring your self-worth against other peoples net worth.”
Robin S. Sharma: The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari

Step away from the problem to see the solution

I never really lost the trail along my trek, but I did misplace it a number of times. At one point I got pretty disoriented, because I could not correlate the gigantic stone structures that towered above me with the lines on my topographical map. I was too close to them. Then I looked across the river and saw the unmistakable profile of Scorpion Ridge. From that point, I was able to quickly get my bearings and figure out where I was.

Try this: Think about a problem that’s got you stumped. Now step away from it and see if you can’t view things from a different and more distant perspective to come up with a better answer.

Don’t expect a brass band to greet you at the finish line When I got to the end of my 7-day solo trek, I felt like there should be a big brass band there belting out Souza marches to greet me. There was not. Quite to the contrary, most of the people I met on the way out looked at me as though they expected that the first words out of my mouth would be something to the effect that I would work for food. Reward must be intrinsic – don’t rely on others to validate the worthwhileness of your life experiences.

Never again! –› What’s next?

I’ve never personally had a baby (though I’ve watched a few being born), but I’m told that at some point the delivering mother will say something to the effect of “Never Again!” Obviously, they change their mind at some point, otherwise none of us would have siblings. Climbing out the last mile of the last day of my hike this time, I heard myself saying those words – never again. But by the time I was loading my pack into the trunk of the car, I was already starting to think about the next adventure.

“The work of healing is like finding, sorting, and putting together the pieces of an ancient pot. The work is often tedious, and some of the slivers may be sharp and dangerous. The result, if you are patient, is a beautiful object, elegant in form and function, and elegant in the tales it tells of its creation. If put together carefully, it will also be watertight and can be filled up with good things.”
Richard A. Moskovitz: Lost in the Mirror

Where would you go if you were a trail?

As I mentioned above, though I never really lost the trail, I did misplace it a few times. Then I would stop and look at the topography and ask, “Where would I go if I were a trail.” That always helped me look in the right place to find it again. In a way, this is a variation on the Direction Deflection Question: Is what I’m about to do or say consistent with my ideal best self?”

I once met a guy hiking in The Canyon who told me that he hated his boring government job, and was only in it for the money (and the benefits and the pension). I asked him what he would do if every job paid the same and had the same social status (a variation on “Where would you go if you were a trail?”).

He knew exactly. He told me that he would be a baker. He loves to make bread. Of course, the difference between a secure (and boring) government job and starting a business making bread is the difference between walking down the driveway to the mailbox to pick up your check and hiking in the mountains looking for wild berries.

Try this: Visualize the path of your life as a trail. Of course, you cannot change the journey that has brought you to where you are now, nor can you immediately change that point. But you can decide to change the trail that you elect to follow from this point forward. Where would you go if you were a trail? What would you be doing if you were being true to your authentic best self?

“We can help ourselves transcend the usual anxieties about success and failure by evolving a spiritual definition of success: To wholeheartedly endeavor to accomplish a life goal and to learn from the experience. Then nothing can ever wrest true success from our grasp except our own unwillingness to embrace the experience.”
Robert Gerzon: Finding Serenity in the Age of Anxiety

The real miracle is not the trail

When you hike out of the Grand Canyon from the Tonto Plateau, you look ahead at a vertical wall some 2,500 feet high and it is absolutely impossible to imagine yourself climbing it, to see how it would be humanly possible for there to be a trail that you can follow. And yet the trail unfolds before you, one switchback at a time.

It feels like a miracle when you finally emerge from The Canyon, and in fact your hike up is a great metaphor for real miracles. The miracle is not the trail, because the trail was there all along. The miracle was your faith in taking it, and the person you became because you did.

Special Bonus: The Secret Recipe for Joe’s
World-Famous Grand Canyon Caramel Apple

Ingredients: 1 apple 33 Sugar Babies Directions: Take one bite of the apple Insert 3 Sugar Babies in mouth Chew Repeat Haul out your apple core (or eat it)

Dream a Big Dream Workshop

The Dream a Big Dream Workshop being held at Grand Canyon, Arizona this May 1-3 will be a great opportunity for you to think about your most authentic dreams and goals, and create a roadmap toward their fulfillment. For details go to www.SparkaDream.com